


i guess we fell apart in the usual way

by skyekingsleigh



Category: Percy Jackson RPF, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Ex Lovers, F/M, Then and Now, logandra - Freeform, percabeth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 01:51:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20716133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyekingsleigh/pseuds/skyekingsleigh
Summary: They both paused, trying to breathe through unspeakable pain and hurt and this looming sense of loss. Finally, when she felt like she could, Alex spoke up. “We should end this, shouldn’t we?”





	i guess we fell apart in the usual way

**Author's Note:**

> so i stumbled upon the sea of monsters movie a few days ago (yes, i still dont like it) and was reminded of how much i used to ship these two when i was younger which then resulted to this very angsty fic. i made a percabeth au version so feel free to comment if you want me to post that as well :))
> 
> title from taylor swift’s holy ground

ALEX REMEMBERED THE tanline, weirdly enough. It had been only a week, after all, since all things fell apart. She had just packed up her things from their New York apartment and had been crashing at her brother’s place and she was freakishly tan from a photoshoot at the beach from two weeks back and there was a fucking tanline and she had only noticed that particular day and _fuck everything_, alright? Her ring finger sported a white band of skin for four more days after that. 

It made everything even more difficult, looking back. People who didn’t know her would stare in pity. Random women in grocery stores would pat her shoulder comfortingly as if their sympathy would magically return her engagement ring back to her. Even if their relationship was pretty lowkey, it was like the media knew that something had went on, that something was wrong. If her schedule hadn’t been so jammed with new projects, it would have been bad. Well, worse than what it already was.

For some reason, she found herself reminiscing about that stupid tanline three years later and it _sucks_. But he was the last person she had ever been with seriously, so really he was bound to come up in her mind sooner or later. But three years and this fucking trip to the beach her family went to made her think of forbidden things like the way the diamond sparkled in the light of their nightstand and the way his eyes lit up when she nodded her yes before kissing the stupid smile off his stupid face. _God_, she needed something stronger than a mimosa.

She had been pretty alright, she’d like to think, after all this time. They never made a huge fuss about dating and moving in and getting engaged and breaking up. The media had been left wondering for years and never got a confirmation and she had moved on from him long ago, she thinks. But damn it if it didn’t frustrate her every time a date went wrong or something with someone didn’t work out, because with him, it had been so easy. They never really had to worry about anything. They were so compatible, and their families loved each other so much that she knew it wasn’t just hard for the both of them when things ended but for a whole bunch of other people too.

And it was hard, dreaming of a future with somebody and planning your whole life with him in it as if what you had was permanent, only for a series of fights and time to fuck things up. And suddenly, you’re on your own again, fisting the sheets of your comforter because they’re never warm enough now that you knew how it felt to have him wrapped around you and holding you at night. God, maybe whiskey would be more of help.

“Jameson on the rocks for the lady,” The pretty bartender winked at her, busking away the empty glasses of mimosas and replacing them with a much smaller glass. “Even it it is only four in the afternoon.”

Alex frowned. “That’s funny. I was literally just thinking of gettin—wait, how did you–?”

“Oh, that guy over there sent it to you,” The bartender gestured at something behind her, and when she turned around to see the grinning face of her brother looking at her, Alex had to fight back a tired sigh. “Said you had your thinking-of-forbidden-things face.”

This time she actually did sigh. “Of course he did.”

“Of course I did,” Matthew teased, announcing his presence and inching to the seat next to her. Alex held her middle finger up but her brother’s grin only widened if possible. “You were looking at your left hand for an unhealthy amount of times.”

“I hate you,” she declared, but downed her Jameson anyways with a wince.

Matthew chuckled. “Logan’s a douche. You’re a douche. You’re both douches. Now, are you going to join us for island hopping or are you just going to sit by the bar the whole trip? Because Kat is starting to get impatient.”

“Of course she is. And also, can’t you pretend to hate him just a little?”

“I do hate him, Alex, his fault or not he hurt you. But we’re also good friends, and it’s been three years, and we sort of meet once a month for boys’ night...” He trailed off sheepishly.

Alex rolls her eyes and pulls out a bill from her purse, slamming in onto the bar table. “Let’s just go.”

-

SHE REMEMBERED THE noise of glass shattering against the hardwood floors oftheir kitchen, the box she had been carrying, labelled ‘plates and glasses’, opening and spilling everything out despite the amount of duck tape stuck at the bottom to hold it close.

Logan ran to where she was in alarm and all she could do was groan, drop to her knees and try to pick up the shattered pieces, but he laughed at her fondly, dropping a chaste kiss on the top of her head and pulling her back up. “I’m gonna go get a broom.”

“I don’t think we have one. We still need to make a shopping trip for cleaning supplies.” She pouts, glaring at the glass shards like they were at fault. She considers kicking at the cardboard box but decides it was too childish and her boyfriend would use it against her for forever, probably.

“Then let’s go buy one,” he chuckles. “You’re not picking that up and I won’t either. You might cut yourself, Lex.”

Fighting back a grin, Alex stepped closer to him, heartbeat speeding up in the way only he could make her feel. “So thoughful.”

“Hmm.”

With a laugh, she closes the distance between them, tucking the sensation of their lips meeting away in her pocket, because it was a feeling she never wanted to forget. “So. Shopping?”

He smiles in response, and Alex never would have imagined the memory of them would be accompanied by pain much worse than glass shards cutting open her pale skin.

-

HER DATE WAS ACTUALLY going pretty well, as far as she could tell. Tyler was a good (and handsome) guy, funny, relatable, and is a co-star for her new movie so that should probably be a red flag but he’s _great_, so.

And he takes her to a good restaurant, too, a little fancy hole-in-the-wall in Manhattan with dimmed lights and a damn good bottle of wine that she could just tell was already staining her already red lips. They finish shooting in a week, though, so Alex is not entirely sure what that entails.

“So anyway, I get the lasik eye surgery, and everything is actually going alright, you know? I can actually see again,” He continues with his story with her politely nodding along with a smile. “But then just like three months after, my eyesight starts to turn bad again.”

Alex would have been really invested in his story, really, but bluegreen eyes from a few tables behind capture her attention until she’s completely zoned out.

“Imagine I did all these promo videos for them and all andddd—you’re not listening, haha,” Tyler says awkwardly, finally making Alex snap back to reality. “Is everything okay?”

Her wide eyes widened even more. “I am so sorry, Tyler, I just saw someone I used to–uh, I used to know, and I totally spaced out, god, where were we? Uh, your lasik surgery, shit eyesight, uh...”

“Lex?” She almost jumped in her seat at the familiar voice coming from her right.

_Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck_.

She didn’t even see him _approaching_.

_Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck_.

She turned to face him, all trimmed hair and pretty eyes and small smile, and Alex could melt, okay, because just when she thinks she’s already found someone to actually connect with, he shows up again, and he ruins it, because he ruins everyone else for her. And honestly, fuck him and his need to use his nickname for her after three fucking years. Fuck.

“Logan,” she mentally patted herself on the back for maintaining a level voice. “What...uh, you- ha, you’re here.”

So much for maintaining her composure, jesus _fuck_.

“Yeah, I’m with this director and a few producers for uh, this role...” He didn’t seem much better, tripping over his words as well. “But you, you’re...”

Logan finally seemed to notice her companion, and Alex’s deranged little mind could swear he almost deflated—a little.

“Tyler,” her date smiled politely, offering a hand which Logan took dutifully.

“Nice to meet you, man, I’m Logan,” he says back. Tyler makes a face that says ‘I know’ but stays decidedly silent. Bluegreen eyes flash back to her, and she barely controls her flinch, because when was the last time they were this close? “I’d love to stay and catch up, but I’m still in the middle of a meeting, so...”

Alex shook her head and mustered a fake smile. “No, no, no, no, it’s, no, it’s fine, uh, it was great seeing you! After uhm, all these, uh...years.”

“Three years,” Logan nods.

Alex inhales sharply. “Right. Uh, so...”

With another wave, he retreats back to his table, barely sparing her another glance.

“Check please!” She announces to a waiter nearby and tries with all her might to ignore Tyler’s shocked glance at her and at their barely eaten food and half-empty bottle of wine.

-

“I love you,” he whispered into her skin one night. They lay naked, limbs tangled in white pristine sheets with her head on his chest.

She shut her blue eyes tight, trying not to get lost in the feeling of bliss and love and him and not succeeding. “I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you.”

He releases a shaky breath at her words and tugs her even closer, repeats his earlier sentiments like a prayer, almost. “I love you.”

“Even when I’m old and wrinkly and hit the 50s before you?” She asks playfully, reaching to get a fallen eyelash from his face.

He grins and promises, “Even then. Even against everything. Forever.”

“You’re such a sap,” she giggles but could not help the kiss she leans in to give him, could not stop her heart from believing his words. “Make a wish.”

He closes his pretty eyes and blows on the fallen eyelash from her fingertip and kisses her silly, making her dizzy enough that she forgot to ask what he wished for. And now she’d never really know.

-

THE NEXT TIME SHE SEES HIM, she’s with Tyler again on their third (and probably last) date, and he’s with her brother of all people.

He looks up at her now that she’s wearing heels, and she tries to drown out the memories of endless teasing about their height that she knew never really bothered him in the first place. She acknowledged Matthew before him, narrowing her eyes at her younger brother who’s looking too innocent for his own good.

“Matt,” she says a little too sharply. “Logan. You two know Tyler.”

“Of course! We met a few years ago at Comic Con, right?” Matthew offers a casual handshake and Alex forces herself not to look at him, so she looks at Tyler instead and spots a fallen eyelash just above his cheekbone.

Without meaning to, she reaches up to catch it, mumbling a “Sorry,” and, “Make a wish,” and pretends she couldn’t feel Logan’s eyes burning her every move.

Tyler closes his eyes and blows but it’s not the same, and Logan excuses himself with the pretense that he forgot something in his car, and fuck, why would she do that? _Fuck_.

“You’re _cruel_,” Matthew teases in a quiet voice, shoulders shaking in suppressed laughter. “Just cruel.”

-

HE ASKED HER IN A simple way, just fresh of making love and ten seconds away from sleep. Her head rested on his chest like always, fingers from her left hand tracing patterns on his toned stomach and spelling ‘i love you’ a few times.

“Lex,” his voice whispers into the quiet, stillness of night. Her fingers stop moving and she lifts her head to look at him with a small smile and a gentle hum of acknowledgement. “I think...I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

She sucks in a breath and tries to calm her wild heart. “You think?”

A grin breaks out of his pretty face. “Yeah. Do you...?”

“Yeah,” she tries to fight back a giggle and her chest feels like it would burst any minute. “I do.”

He hides his wide smile by burying his face in her head before suddenly sitting up. “Shit, wait.”

He fumbles around for the nightstand, and Alex had thought he was looking for a condom or something, but when he returned to the bed bouncing and help up a ring in his hand, words escaped her.

“I kinda bought this... Christmas last year, to be honest,” he confessed shakily.

“_Logan_,” her voice breaks. “That was months ago!”

“Yeah,” he laughs breathily. “I know. So...?”

She buried her face in her hands and willed her tears to stop but they just wouldn’t and they keep coming out, fuck. “I hate you.”

Her voice was muffled but Logan’s laugh sounded sharp to her ears. He gently took her hands away from her face and wiped her tears. “Love you too. So, is that a yes?”

She groaned, feeling cheesy as fuck, but pulled him down to her and locking her legs and arms around him. “_Yes_.”

He kisses her then, and she feels him crying, too, but that just made her kiss him harder.

-

SHE DOESN’T SEE HIM FOR three months after their run-in with Tyler and Matthew. She tried to subtly ask her brother about him but he just shrugged and said Logan’s skipped boys’ night out for two months now, so that’s that.

The next time she hears of him is when her sister sends her a link to a twitter fanpage for ‘logandra’ or whatever that looked like it hasn’t been active since 2015. The most recent tweet, though, was from five days ago. It had a simple caption of that emoji of eyes looking to the sides that she found slightly odd. When she clicked on the picture, though, she almost dropped her phone.

It was of Logan with a fan somewhere unrecognizable to her. The camera angle was from above, making the both of them look up. He was wearing a tired smile, and an old holed shirt. But what caught her attention was the thin chain around his neck, one that looked familiar because she saw him wearing the same one the past two times they’ve bumped into each other.

This time, though, the pendant was visible from the high angle and the v cut of his shirt. And, lo and behold, glistening against the camera flash, was a generous and elegant diamond ring. _Her_ ring. The ring she left on the nightstand when she packed her things and left. The ring he gave her when he asked for her future in between soft kisses and softer, happier tears. Her _ring_.

It took Alex exactly five hours and eighteen minutes to muster up enough strength to diall his number.

-

SHE TRIED NOT TO REMEMBER that fateful night when it all ended. Sometimes the memory itches its way inside her mind without caution, though, and she feels like drowning in pain once again. The thing is that they fell apart in such a usual and simple way and it hurts because they were supposed to stick together. That was always the plan. Something as seemingly unimportant as time shouldn’t have been able to ruin them but it did and it sucks.

Despite herself she remembers the ache, pounding in her chest everytime she comes home to an empty apartment and everytime she knows he does the same. She remembers cold phone calls and ‘i miss you’s’ and ‘when are you going to come home’s?’ Matthew wasn’t wrong when he said they were both at fault. His career was it its peak and hers was starting to get there, too, and that took up so much of their time that they don’t even get to see each other anymore. Some days she misses him so much that all she could do was play with the ring on her finger and hoped it was enough to right whatever wrong they’re starting to feel. It wasn’t, though.

“Why did you even ask me in the first place?” she remembers asking him in between soft cries of agony. They were sitting with their backs to each other on opposite sides of their bed, and they’ve never felt more apart than it that moment.

“Because I love you,” he says honestly, and from his voice she could tell he was crying, too.

She shut her eyes so she wouldn’t sob. “Don’t you love me anymore?”

“I love you _so_ much, Lex,” he counters in an agonized whisper. “So much.”

They both paused, trying to breathe through unspeakable pain and hurt and this looming sense of loss. Finally, when she felt like she could, Alex spoke up. “We should end this, shouldn’t we?”

A sob finally broke through his lips, making her do the same when she felt him wrap his arms around her in a death grip. “I don’t want to. _Please_, I don’t want to.”

“Me too,” she cried out, facing him to kiss him a little desparately. “I love you. But...”

He shut his eyes tight and rested his forehead against hers and she could see the tears lining his cheek. “I know,” he whispers back. “I know.”

The room seemed darker as slowly, they pulled away.

“You should go,” she said after a minute of silence. He visibly flinches. She tries to speak without her voice breaking but she fails. “And when you come back in an hour, I won’t be here.”

“Lex...” he pleaded but she forced herself to continue.

“You won’t call me. You won’t look for me. Because this is what we both need. Okay?”

She hears him crying, and it takes him a few moments to respond. “Okay.”

He’s gone in less than five minutes. She leaves her ring on the nightstand and disappears in forty.

-

THEY MEET IN A LITTLE cafe near the public library in unconsiously matching outfits. They don’t say anything and just sat at their table for a solid eleven minutes before Alex finally opened with, “Nice necklace.”

He flinched the way he does and turned beet red. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

-

IT TOOK PRECISELY FOURTEEN months before the media found out, and it was only because Alex posted a picture on instagram of her left ring finger being occupied once again by a familiar diamond band, captioned: “_His wish came true. I am now the best Lerman. Sucks to suck.”_


End file.
